Marrying Well......

I know we haven't posted something in a while...but this looks pretty good for both guys and girls to take a look at....

It's the girls guide to marrying well....

Thanks Holly for letting us know....

On Christ the Solid Rock I Stand...

Jonathan Sawyer Testimony from Sovereign Grace Ministries on Vimeo.

"Don't Waste Your Summer"

"I'd like to challenge you as you enter into this summer to be intentional with your days as you continue to press into Christ. Don't give into a vacation mindset that robs you of your joy in Christ by neglecting your Bible reading and prayer. Take a vacation, by all means, but be intentional about it, recognize that rest, be it from school or work or whatever else you have going on, is but a shadow of the rest that we have in Christ. Take this summer as an opportunity to display to a lost and dying world where you joy is found, to say "knowing Christ is worth more to me than anything this world can offer," or with Paul, "I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord."

Here are a handful of ways we can do just that this summer. If these are helpful, great, if not, God will direct you to what's best for you:
-Press into God! In every way that you can think of, press into Him!
-Set aside a day or a weekend to unplug, get away to be with God. Maybe have your Bible and a journal.
-Set a goal to memorize a large portion of Scripture.
-Pick a couple of good books to read this summer. Set a big goal, grab a some big, weighty, serious, Christ-exalting book to get through this summer with the goal to know God better.
-Serve someone. Could be the nursing home we went to last year, or a family crisis center, or serving a family in need that you're aware of.
-Serve one another. Pursue times for biblical fellowship with one another. Men, take this opportunity to lead out and serve the ladies. Strive to outdo one another in serving and in good works!
-Share the gospel with someone! I can think of no better way to spend my summer than sharing the gospel and getting to be a part of people coming to a saving faith in Jesus Christ!

John Piper wrote, "Jesus Christ is refreshing, but flight from him into Christless leisure makes the soul parched. At first it may feel like freedom and fun to skimp on prayer, and neglect the Word. But then we pay: shallowness, powerlessness, vulnerability, to sin, preoccupation with trifles, superficial relationships and a frightening loss of interest in worship and the things of the Spirit."

Make the best use of your time this summer. Rest, to be sure, have fun and celebrate God's great creation with friends and family. But press into Him, the author and creator of all these things, seek to grow in your communion with our Savior and to grow in godliness. Above all else, exult in his glory and proclaim his name!

One Size Fits All?

Hey girls (and guys)--Holly Mayfield sent this article to me from Carolyn McCulley. I found it outstanding!

Lots of verbiage fills corners of the Internet and entire rows of bookstores about the “pesky problem” of an excess number of single adults these days.

Whether it’s a dating solution with a money-back guarantee or an apologetic for the contributions and worth of singles, everyone has a published opinion. So do I. As an author of a book affirming biblical femininity and purpose for single women, I have added to the swirling sea of opinion.

That’s why I can’t seem to escape the conversation. Every new opinion on the topic is forthwith forever to be e-mailed to me, with a note asking what I think. So to save everyone some time, here’s what I think:

There simply is no one-size-fits-all “solution” for single adults.

Singleness, rather, is like a multi-faceted gemstone. If you view it from one angle, it seems like that’s the correct and complete view, but then you turn the stone and you see an entirely different facet to consider. Yes, there are consequences to the choices we singles make that contribute to our singleness, but yet there are also influences from our mainstream culture that negatively affect our churches. Yes, the church could do more to help singles get married, but yes, the church also could do more to affirm the valuable and godly contributions that singles make. Yes, there can be problems with many singles ministries, but there is also good that comes from some singles ministries. Yes, Scripture has a high view of marriage. Yet it also calls singleness good and a charisma, or gracious endowment of the Holy Spirit (1 Corinthians 7:6-8).

There is no one-size-fits-all demographic description of single adults, either. Generally speaking, being unmarried is the only thing that unites an otherwise completely disparate set of people - a 20-year-old male college student, a 35-year-old divorced mother of three, a never-married and childless 40-year-old man, and a widowed 55-year-old grandmother. But for those who are believers in Christ, we have an identity that trumps being single, and we must never lose sight of that fact. It is of far more eternal value than our current marital status.

So, with that said, I’d like to offer 10 perspectives on the multifaceted concept of singleness:

1. It’s not possible to know why someone is single. Though many are sure that a particular character trait or physical feature is the reason why someone they know is still single, empirically that can’t be true, for many married people are guilty of those same qualities. And I’d like to gently point out that making such claims assumes a level of omniscience that none of us possess.
2. What you believe about God informs what you believe about singleness. Christians who believe that we serve a loving and wise God who ultimately will accomplish His plan and purpose for us also believe that singleness can be part of that good plan at various times. Though there is an obvious tension between God’s sovereignty and human responsibility, the Bible’s accent is on God’s rule and reign in our lives. So we are called to trust Him in all circumstances, even ones we would not choose for ourselves, such as extended singleness. This is my position. For those Christians who don’t hold to this theological view, I’d like to submit that this belief is not the same thing as blaming God for our singleness or not taking any responsibility for the choices we’ve made that contribute to singleness. It means that unwanted singleness is one of those “all things” that God is working together for good in His mysterious providence (Romans 8:28).
3. Those of us who are single today can know this is God’s will for us today and still give thanks for it. “Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you” (1 Thessalonians 5:18). As for the future, let’s leave that in the Lord’s loving hands. It’s impossible for us to know what tomorrow holds so there’s really no need to fret over whether we are “called” to lifelong singleness or how to parse that concept. Married people don’t know whether they are “called” to lifelong marriage, either. Our circumstances can radically change in only one day.
4. It’s no surprise that a culture that denigrates marriage will have a high number of unmarried adults in its midst. The church is not immune from being affected by this trend, as evidenced by the comparable divorce rate. So I applaud pastors, theologians, churches, and ministries that are studying this trend and calling for transformation, as far as it can be brought about by our endeavors. I would only appeal that when these discussions are held, please don’t forget that you are talking about people and not just statistics. Please offer biblical hope for change to those who are currently single and listening to you.
5. We singles have to learn to listen to generalities about marriage and singleness without taking it personally. I know it’s hard, but let’s be thankful that the Lord is raising up various people to notice, examine and teach in order to correct these trends. To continue the gemstone analogy, we have to remember that they are looking at a different facet of singleness when they are speaking.
6. Singles can play a vital and fruitful role in our churches, especially when everyone remembers that our primary identity is Christian, not whatever marital status we currently possess. We are all called to grow up in Christ, who is the head of the church (Ephesians 4:15). Being single does not exempt us from this sanctification process. It is just a different path toward that goal. (Yes, I understand that marriage puts a bright spotlight on selfishness and that many married people will testify to how their weddings put them on the fast-track of sanctification. But there’s a different form of long-simmer sanctification for single adults who have to continue to choose daily to be involved, confess sin, serve others, and not withdraw in the face of years of loneliness and lack of intimacy.) The Bible is clear that singleness is not a second-rate status in the church (1 Corinthians 7:8), and it provides several compelling portraits of singles (Paul, Mary, Martha, Lazarus, Lydia, and possibly John the Baptist and even Timothy.)
7. Yes, we singles do bear some responsibility for our current singleness, but that isn’t the same thing as bearing the entire or sole responsibility, as though God is not in the picture. There are numerous factors in life that contribute to an individual’s current status, but what we can see now is not the end of the story. Joseph’s future wouldn’t have looked promising if you’d met him in jail - a result of choices made by Joseph, his brothers, and others. But that wasn’t the end result of God’s plan nor was He limited by those choices. The same goes for us. For example, I did not become a Christian until I was 30. So perhaps that’s a factor in why I’m still single more than 10 years later - I was not in the church in my prime marrying years. There are consequences for the choices I’ve made in my life, but I’m still committed to praying for a husband as long as I desire to be married because I have no idea what God has ordained for my future. And while I’m praying, I want to remember to thank God for saving me at all, even if it was at the ripe old age of 30! Unmerited favor at any age is a stunning gift.
8. Not all singles ministries are alike, so sweeping condemnations or celebrations of such are unwise. A singles ministry reflects the leading and teaching of its church elders, and as such there are as many flavors of singles ministries as there are churches. Even within any particular singles ministry, you will find serious Christians and the shallow souls who give singles ministries their bad reputations as “meat markets.” In my opinion, however, singles shouldn’t be segregated from the rest of the church. We need relationships with families, and perhaps those relationships will curb stunted singles ministries.
9. For those who married relatively early, please don’t confuse your memories of being young with being single. Singleness is not a monolithic season. To be single at 40 or 50 and beyond is much different than being single at 25. The ease of finding a marriage partner also changes with time. If you married early, you may think it is not a complicated process to find a mate and you may not clearly perceive how difficult (though not impossible) it becomes over time.
10. There are huge differences between taking some initiative to seek marriage in the context of all other responsibilities and tasks, and being consumed by the initiative. If I die tomorrow, I will not hear, “Well done, good and faithful servant. Let’s see, you answered 175 personal ads, attended 546 different singles meetings, went to 891 singles mixers, and accepted 34 blind dates! Enter into the joy of your master.” No, I - like every other single Christian - will be evaluated for how I invested my time, talent, and treasures into the Kingdom. So please don’t push us into a frenzy of activity just to Meet Someone. If we go to singles meetings with our deer-hunting headlights up, we will first blind and then scare away the prey. Instead, please ask us if we are going to meetings to serve others, receive the teaching, reach out to visitors, and advance the gospel. Those are the activities that will earn eternal rewards. If we Meet Someone while doing it, it is an added blessing. However, married people, you can help us steward our time if you prayerfully consider compatible people you can introduce us to and then discreetly (meaning: don’t tell us your matchmaking agenda) invite us all to some event.

I hope this list contributes to a fuller consideration of singleness. But this fact remains: The older I become, both chronologically and in the Lord, the more I become aware of how innovative He is in fulfilling His plan. He is not a God of formulas and stereotypes. How He is working in another’s life is never the same as in mine. He is infinitely creative and specifically personal. And whenever we, like Peter, decide to ask Him about His plans for a particular friend and companion, His answer is the same now as it was then: “What is that to you? You follow Me” (John 21:22).

A Guy's Guide to Marrying Well

This free, nicely designed booklet looks like it will serve a lot of guys:

Most men hope to marry some day, but there's no guarantee they will. Increasingly, young men are — as one writer put it — "stumbling on to the altar as if by accident."

Too many guys make their way into their 20s and 30s without the marriage modeling and insights that were once easy to find from dads, coaches, teachers, mentors and Christian leaders. When they do find advice about relationships, it's often spectacularly bad.

The simple purpose of the information here is to present a path that is as biblical as possible in order to help you marry well. But not just so that you can experience all the happiness, health and wealth that guys who marry well enjoy, but so that your marriage can point to God's glory and His greater purposes.

This guide is based on a few timeless concepts — intentionality, purity, Christian compatibility and community — that we rarely encounter in popular culture but are a proven path to marrying well.

May God bless the time you spend with this information and help you apply His design in your life.

(HT: JT)

Taking the college years off

I thought this was a good and helpful post from Stuff Christians Like :

When I started college, I never officially said to God, "Adios, I'll see you again when I'm in my mid 20s," but I should have, because that's what I did. I essentially took a Jon vacation from God during my college years.

I put Him in a tiny box, labeled that box "Open when you’re married or after you have kids," and put the box under the bed. Then I proceeded to live for me with an embarrassing amount of gusto.

You didn't. Hopefully, upon reading those first few sentences your thought was, "What a loser. College was the period of my life when I grew close to God and learned about what it meant to be in a relationship with Christ." That happens a lot and I honestly think that is awesome.

I didn't have that experience though. My college years were a mess and although I can't change them, I can tell you and my little sister Molly, who heads to the University of North Carolina this fall, why I wish I had not taken the college years off from God.

Here are the four things I'd tell every graduate:

1. God is not trying to ruin your college experience.
Man oh man did I throw God under the fun bus. I thought that if I pursued a relationship with God during college I would miss out on all the "fun college experiences" you're supposed to have. Like drunken spring breaks, casual relationships, coming home with the sunrise parties etc. Wow, was I wrong. I realize now that God placed the deepest, most “light me on fire with fun and hope and life desires” within me and would have loved the opportunity to awaken those during college. He wants college, and every day after that for that matter, to be lived fully alive and is by no means trying to rain on your college parade. Like Missy Elliot, God can't stand the rain, but unlike Missy Elliot He's the one that created the sunrise and I promise that only He can show you the brightest ones in college.

2. Your parents' faith won't sustain you.
Neither will your high school youth minister's or your friend's or your pastor's back home. If you inherited some beliefs from people around you while you were growing up, expect to go through a period of redefining them and personalizing them. For instance, if the only reason you went to church every Sunday was because that's just what your family did, don't expect that habit to carry you through college. You've got an amazing opportunity to understand your faith and your one on one relationship with God during these years, don't miss it.

3. College is not forever.
I didn't realize it at the time, but by completely disregarding my faith and my God during college, I was building a really horrible foundation for my mid 20s. Even now, 11 years after graduating from Samford University, there are things that my wife experienced in college with God that she can lean on. I don't have those same things. And the damage I did to my heart and my mind during college made the first four years of marriage unnecessarily difficult. Sometimes during college you don't like to think about consequences or you get sucked into this idea that college is all there is. But it’s not. Be kind to the 25 year old you and don't gather the baggage I did.

4. Don't have sex.
In addition to all the health risks, the pregnancy risks, the Biblical pleading against premarital sex, let me throw one more reason not to have sex that all the "wisdom for graduates" books seem to be leaving out: College sex is strictly amateur hour. Seriously, the ROI (Return on Investment) is bogus. You'll give a part of you that is special and irreplaceable and beautiful and in return get something that is fumbling and awkward and shallow and selfish. Marriage sex, that has the benefit of a covenant relationship that allows people to be real and honest and adventurous, is better than college sex. I promise. Don't believe me? Ask your parents. And then go throw up. But it's still true.

There is very little chance I will ever be invited to give a high school graduation commencement speech at a Christian school, especially after point 4, but if I did, I would plead with the graduates not to take the college years off from God.

How about you?

What would you tell graduates this year?

Pray for Next

Here's a prayer from Paul Medler about the Next Conference in a couple weeks rooted in Ephesians.

Let's be in prayer as we look ahead...

What would make you dance like this?

Sam Storms writes...

I haven't sent out a newsletter in quite some time, so you may be wondering what would stir me to do so now.

Well, every so often you come across something that touches a nerve in your soul and feel compelled to share it with others. In my case it was a You Tube video that I saw on a friend's blog. With the potential for a Swine Flu pandemic, together with the ever-present threat of international terrorism, the economic crisis, and who knows what else, we all could use a bit of spontaneous joy.

I found mine in a remarkable event that took place in a Belgian Train Station. Perhaps you've already seen it. It's making the rounds of the internet and is now found on numerous blogs.

In one sense, it's a bit silly. You'll know why when you watch it. But as I watched it (several times now), I couldn't help but think about what makes people dance. For some it is a well-known song from The Sound of Music. For others it is newly found wealth or the birth of a child. Perhaps you dance because of the love you feel for your husband or wife.

It all got me thinking about the absence of joy in our churches, the lack of spontaneity, and the fear of what others might think. If people can display such freedom and delight in something as banal as Julie Andrews singing "Do, Re, Me," can we not do as much for someone as beautiful as the Lord Jesus Christ? O.k., o.k., I know all about propriety in church and reverence and gravity. Yes, God is deserving of our deepest thoughts and most exalted praise and we must never permit our worship to degenerate into carnal or flippant emotionalism.

But does not the thought of forgiveness of sins elicit unbridled joy in your heart? Does not the prospect of eternity with Christ make your feet move? Should not the glory of saving grace and the power of the indwelling Spirit and intimacy with a loving heavenly Father move us in both body and soul?

These are the questions that came to mind as I watched and listened to this video. I wondered, what would the world think of us if our love for Jesus and our gratitude for all that God has done for us in him spilled out into the streets in godly celebration? As you watch the video, be sure to take note of the startled look on the faces of passersby. Watch as their incredulity turns to sheer enjoyment. Then ask yourself, what effect might we have on a lost and dying world if our love for God was seen in holy revelry, in glad-hearted dancing, in unashamed, extravagant affection for the Lord Jesus Christ.

Even if you don't agree with what I've said, I think you'll get a kick from watching this event. But as you watch, it wouldn't hurt to ask yourself a question: For what or whom would I dance?

Our very own superhero....

...Mike Valka to the rescue!

(What we learned on Good Friday)